Sunday, April 01, 2007

Blue Day

I hate days like this. The weather is supposed to cooperate. It's my only day off. And it ends up being crappy out. It's so depressing. I just wish that it could have been nice for an hour or so. Just let me get outdoors and be productive. I was definitely productive indoors today. One of those days where you wake up and can clean the whole house from top to bottom in a few hours and ready to tackle the next project.

Yesterday Jackson and I found flowers planted next to the garage. I'm thinking that they weren't planted there on purpose since they are in a really silly spot. But I'm looking forward to transplanting them to a better spot. I love gardening. I do really love to be outdoors, but I want to make things look pretty. Especially our really white house. I am looking forward to a little color this spring. The grass is really green and I've pruned the front crabapple tree so it should look great this spring. I can't wait for it to bloom. I want things to start looking nice and for the weather to just be nice from now on. I know I'm asking a lot but I need it.

This week Chris comes from corporate to see us for the first time in a very long time. I'm a little nervous as I always get when someone comes. I guess it's my self doubt tying me in knots. If only I could not be so darn nervous. Maybe I'm just really worried about being let go again. I know that there have been a lot of changes within the organization and I came close to losing my job once due to job cuts. Thank god for Chris. He made sure that they kept my job! I really appreciate it. Guess I just wish that I was having better luck though. I don't think I've ever gone through such a bad string of luck with clients. No closings this month and none in February. This is crazy. I have never been so busy and not had any closings in a long time. There is no excuse for it. I'm really worried about the market. I've been very lucky to not have to worry about the market. We've always had a tight niche and been very successful. But the market just seems to be dropping really rapidly. Who knows what this means.

So, the writer in me is having a hard time again. The editor in me is having a lot of fun. I figured out how to use all the comment/markup functions in Word and have been just tearing my work apart. The comments have been really helpful. I'm hoping that I can finish at least the prologue in it's entirety this week. I worked on the big hole in my story over the weekend and at least have a better direction of where it should be. I like the ending, but of course I do, but I knew that there needed to be more middle. I knew I suddenly was near the end and at 60 pages that wasn't good. No more writing sprees lately, but I'm hoping I can change that as well. At least I am writing a little more each day and starting to ask questions. Boy do I love to ask questions. I just wish I had more answers. The good news is that I might actually be able to answer these. They are slowly forming and I will have one hell of a good time telling this story. It's actually kinda funny. I was thinking about how I'd love for someone to read so that they could ask me questions about it as well, but then after looking at it no one could ever understand it. I have a great storyline, but it's just an outline at this point. High points with no base. It's getting there though!

Well I suppose I better get back to writing and editting. I have a few more hours of my weekend left. I better enjoy them while I can!

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